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Shūnya

Disorganized Attachment Style

  

A disorganized attachment style plays out in a combination of two opposite fears, each driving different behaviors. Fear of abandonment causes Shunya act in needy, clingy ways. Fear of emotional intimacy drives Shunya to push others away. Therefore, Shunya's chronically feel lonely and misunderstood.

Shunya Style Equation: 

Fear of Abandonment + Fear of Emotional Intimacy = Disorganized Attachment. 

 

SHUNYA ATTACHMENT STYLE

The Result of a Neglectful Mother

  

Shunya types have a disorganized attachment style, rooted in childhood maternal neglect. The essence the adult formed through neglectful parenting is called Shunya, meaning one with an empty sense of self. Having internalized the message that their needs don't matter, they experience profound feelings of invisibility and unworthiness, leading them to disconnect from their emotions and struggle to identify or express their feelings. 

 

SANSKRIT MEANING 

Shūnya (शून्य) – meaning empty, void, or lacking presence. In this context, it refers to the emotional and relational void experienced by those who grew up unseen or unsupported. When formed without love, guidance, or affirmation, this ego becomes fragile, undefined, or hollow, like one with a hollow sense of self."

"Please Don't Leave Me,

But Don't Get Too Close

or I'll Push You Away!"

MEET SHUNYA

 

In essence, the adult formed through neglectful mothering is called Shūnya, "one with a hollow sense of self”—an adult shaped by emotional neglect, often feeling unseen, unworthy, or disconnected from a clear identity. The Shunya style oscillates between on the one side, desperately craving connection, yet on the other side, feeling unsafe with intimacy. A hallmark of Shunya is hyper-independence, doing whatever they want, not following the rules, coloring outside of the lines is their speciality. This is a defense mechanism against  abandonment that unintentionally pushes everyone away from them. The suffer from chronic feelings of loneliness and rejection, not realizing they they sabotaged the relationship based on their behavior. Their chronic struggle with feelings of abandonment come from a deep belief that they're fundamentally undeserving of love.

 

 
  • Low self-worth. They often feel invisible, unworthy, or fundamentally flawed due to the internalized message that their needs didn’t matter.
  • Emotional detachment or numbness. Without emotional mirroring in childhood, they may struggle to identify or express feelings and may rely on dissociation to cope.

  • Fear of intimacy. They may crave connection but feel unsafe when closeness arises, resulting in avoidance, anxiety, or difficulty trusting others.

  • Hyper-independence. They may pride themselves on not needing anyone—an adaptive defense against repeated emotional abandonment.
  • Self-sabotage or passivity. Accustomed to powerlessness, they may defer decisions, undermine their own progress, or feel incapable of shaping their life.

  • Difficulty with self-care and boundaries. With no model for nurturing or protection, they may struggle to meet their needs or to advocate for themselves in healthy ways.

VEDIC PSYCHOLOGY PERSPECTIVE

Neglectful parenting gives rise to tamasic samskaras—impressions of abandonment, emotional dullness, and helplessness. These form a wounded ahankara rooted in lacking or invisibility. This inner void drives them to seek constant reassurance, even to the extent of asking, "Do you love me?" Yet no amount of love, attention or other forms of external validation seems to fill the deep, insatiable emptiness within. Because their parents didn't see them, they can't see themselves or others—trapped in a fog of confusion, projection, and unmet longing. As a result, others often perceive them as emotionally needy, and feel like they are walking on eggshells around them due to their strong reactions to perceived abandonment or rejection, and their lack of insight into how their behavior is pushing others away—not the other way around.

Ayurvedic Face & Body Reading

Decoding the Inner Self 

 

For centuries, Ayurvedic physicians have practiced mukha-vijnana—the sacred art of reading the face and body to discern the inner landscape of a person’s mind, constitution, and character. Rooted in the understanding that the body reflects the soul’s impressions and experiences, this subtle science interprets posture, gaze, and expression as windows into samskaras and developmental influences.

In this portrait, we observe the Shūnya—an adult personality type formed through neglectful parenting, embodying emotional emptiness, collapsed posture, and a hollow sense of self shaped in the absence of care, mirroring the quiet ache of having been unseen.

As the image suggests this person exhibits:

  • Collapsed or guarded posture: The inward-turned body signals protection and self-concealment—common in those who grew up feeling emotionally unsafe or unseen.
  • Flat or distant facial expression: A lack of animation in the face may reflect chronic emotional numbing or dissociation, protective strategies rooted in early neglect.
  • Avoidant gaze: Looking away or downward can signal shame, hypervigilance, or a learned belief that connection isn’t safe or available.
  • Still, withdrawn hands: Lack of engagement or activity in the hands may show disempowerment or a learned passivity—stemming from the belief that efforts won’t be acknowledged.
  • Muted or faded clothing: The absence of color or vitality in his faded clothes symbolize a tamasic mind—emotional dullness, invisibility, and lack of nourishment.

Together, these features portray Shūnya, an adult who may appear self-contained or emotionally shut down, but who internally carries chronic loneliness, and a deep yearning to be seen—hallmarks of neglectful parenting.

 HEALING

 

Healing begins with invoking Rajas - the active energy to get the passive Shunya to start moving.

 

A great move for Shunya would be to engage in psychotherapy work specifically for the Inner Child. Through the therapists guidance, Shunya can learn over time to become the steady, loving presence the inner child never had. This means turning inward with gentleness to validate the feelings of invisibility and abandonment, rather than seeking constant reassurance from others. Practices like mirror work, inner child dialogues, and journaling help cultivate self-recognition—teaching them to witness their own worth without external proof. Safe, attuned relationships can support this process, but the real healing comes when they no longer need to ask others, “Do you love me?”—because they’ve learned to answer it for themselves.

 

Meet Dr. Joshi

DEEPEN YOUR STUDIES

 

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